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Updated: 11 min 23 sec ago

Once Upon a Time Inna West!

Tue, 04/09/2019 - 6:43am

What if I were to tell you a fairy tale? Ok, once upon a time inna west there were these three little piggies. Honey, Bunny, and Runny. Honey was the mama, Bunny was around fifteen or so, called Bunny because she looked like she oughta work for Hugh Hefner, and Runny, thirteen, called that because she always ran her mouth. Of course, you ask about the big bad wolf, well, that would be the stepfather. Now, two little piglets and a stepfather, what could possibly go wrong, right?

So there they all were, all cozy, living life. By and by the stepfather tells the step wife, “Honey, we need to hasten to a local beer joint and become stupid tonight. Honey said, “Yeah!” So they hastened to yon honky tonk and drank beer for a full minute, returning in the wee hours of the morning.

As the sun rose over yon freeway, stepfather went to work, and while Honey was preparing for her day, Bunny approached her saying, “Late of last night, step daddy came into my room and vexed me exceedingly. Indeed, an abomination of such proportions that he huffed and puffed, and blew my mind. Runny saw it.”

Honey was beyond devastation, and called the sheriff of Nottingham, who came to the hovel with most haste. By the way, the names have been changed to protect me from getting my ass sued off. So, here comes the sheriff, and Bunny and Runny recount their harrowing tale. The sheriff becomes very angry, and vows to smite the stepdaddy, even with the sword, but more likely a dungeon. He also calls the CPS, because what would a fairy tale be without a wicked witch? And they took samples of Bunny’s beauty, a potion known as DNA, to send to the wizards to find if any spells were cast upon her that would implicate his crime. Now the sheriff didn’t send this to the wizards right away don’t you know. He just set it somewhere in the evidence room next to the beer for a considerable amount of time.

By and by the step father returned and was confronted by the sheriff, and the wicked witch. The witch said that he must leave, and the sheriff said, “Gonna git you, boy!” The step father maintained that he had been kneeling in prayer in the water closet on the night in question, but departed all the same. The witch got on her broom and flew away claiming that while she thought that a spell had been cast she wasn’t getting overtime for this and basically wasn’t wid dem brothas.

The sheriff returned again and again, asking questions of Honey, Bunny, and Runny, each time being better than the previous. Many hours dedicated to conversation even with Bunny alone in her parlor. Indeed, there were whispers in the dark woods that the sheriff had become vexed with one piggie, or perhaps all three, but that’s another story being sold to Netflix. All this time the potions taken remained in the beer cooler for time, a time, and a half time. Actually eight times in all.

By and by the sheriff came with an edict from the king saying that the step father must give his potion, also, so as to see if the two potions had similarities, thereby proving that indeed there had been an abomination. So, the sheriff held the two potions in his hands, one on the left, and one on the right, but he said to himself, “If the wizards say that ne’er these two potions have mixed the king shall have my head!” I must assure the result, for as sheriff I know all truth, and I am too close to retirement to screw up now. Whereupon he devised a way to mix the two potions. Not a lot, just a little so as not to arise suspicion, and then, many moons after the potions were drawn, they were sent to the wizards who did indeed begin work their magic.

While they waited the sheriff continued to question Bunny, even though he claimed that he already knew the truth. Bunny didn’t seem to be able to tell the same story twice, but by now the sheriff was so vexed he didn’t care no mo!” So, the little kingdom sits and waits for the wizards to work their magic on the sheriff’s milk shake, Honey, Bunny, and Runny are securing the door as the REAL big bad wolf huffs and puffs and blows their life up, and the step daddy is still not in the dungeon. Uh, and oh yeah, there was a Mexican sneaking in and out of Bunny’s window all this time. BUILD THE WALL!

The End

The Butcher Shop

The post Once Upon a Time Inna West! appeared first on Tea Party Tribune.

Trump, Boeing, and God

Mon, 04/08/2019 - 5:24am

Oh God, where do I start? You know, I used to worry about finding subjects to write about. Well, Trump fixed all that! This weekend he did a comedy skit at a Jewish nightclub, popped in on the border just long enough to fire the secretary of Homeland Security Kirstjen Nielsen, and ordered cocktails from AOC. No wonder the Millennials eat Tide Pods, and don’t know what gender they are!

We were informed that while there IS some kind of fence out around Ocotillo Wells they forgot to put the gates in, leaving gaping holes running for miles. But, Trump put off closing the border for a year so our margaritas are safe. We are PAYING these people!

Of course some guy called Omar’s office and threatened to kill her because she wore her towel into the House chamber. That was very big news. She claimed it was because she’s a Muslim. Naw, baby, it’s because you’re black. Muslim is not a race. Get it right. If you’re gonna play the victim you have to play the race card.

On tech news, Boeing is ducking and dodging the growing realization that their new planes simply can’t fly. But one thing is clear. I don’t think anyone will try to use their cell phones on a Boeing jet. Dial 1 (800) FALL-DOWN! I was reading a review over the weekend that explained about twenty years or so ago pilots stopped flying the planes and now send suggestions to a computer as to what should be done. Things such as keep the engines ON, and don’t fly into the ground. Boeing is releasing planes with folding wings because the gates in some airports aren’t wide enough. Use the gates down at the border. They’re plenty wide enough. About the only thing I agree with AOC on is flying. She wants to institute high speed rail! Heck! I’d travel in a Mormon push cart before I’d ever get on another Boeing Jet!

And, in conclusion, Mormon missionaries are bailing out now because of the switch in the rules about same sex couples getting their kids baptized. Now, let me get this right. They’re pulling out of the new LBTGQ Boy Scouts, but they’re recognizing “Mr and Mr” as a legitimate union at a baptism. God certainly moves in mysterious ways

The Butcher Shop

The post Trump, Boeing, and God appeared first on Tea Party Tribune.

Buttholeary

Sun, 04/07/2019 - 4:13am

Com’ere, I’m a gonna teach you sumpin’. We are a country of buttholes. You know what that is. That body part that’s the far end of your tongue. We eat what’s good and the rest of the world gets what comes out. Yep. I really said that. Now get this. We put a blockade around Cuba to prevent Venezuelan oil from getting there. Now why did we do that. Did you know about that? Did you know Venezuela had oil? Do you even know where Venezuela is? Well, it’s one of them Mexican countries down there in South America.

Why do we even care if that oil gets to Cuba? Ok, Cuba’s communist, and I guess Venezuela is too, only Venezuela says it’s socialist which is kinda like communism lite, but that doesn’t matter. What danger do these two countries pose to the United States of America? None! Nada! So why are we blockading their trade in oil? Because we’re buttholes! That’s why!

We are not good neighbors. We are forever spreading freedom wherever big oil tells us to. It’s recently been theorized that there may be oil up on the moon, Titan. Guess we’re gonna need a little freedom up there too, huh? We stick our noses in everybody’s business and then get all upset when they run up here and stick their noses in ours.

We meddle all around the world in things we know nothing about, and then start screaming about border security. Do you want to know why we don’t have border security? Because we have systematically destroyed the border security of the world. That’s why! Who CARES who won the election in Venezuela. They’re all members of some cartel anyway. Who CARES who the president of Mexico is. They’ll just have another revolution anyway!

We just spent thirty million dollars to find out if our president ever ate Russian dressing on his salad and God knows how much we spent to keep some guy from topping off his tank in Havana. That’s just buttholeary. We could take that money and give every American health care with no deductible. Time to come to our milk, America. Before we become the hemorrhoid of history!

The Butcher Shop

The post Buttholeary appeared first on Tea Party Tribune.

CigarBox – Wedding Bells

Sat, 04/06/2019 - 8:59am

Across town, Fat Eddie put down his telephone and turned to his wife. “They want us to make the cake for the wedding over at the Bend Saturday. What kind of cake do you think would be right?”

“Three tier, bride and groom on top. Just make it big. They like everything big over in the Bend, you know.”

He began to fetch the big round cake pans and the square pan for the groom’s cake. “They want a spread of prime rib, too. We gotta go and get some. I wish they’d just settle with a Mexican spread like everyone else does.”

“Wouldn’t be the Bend without the prime rib. You know that. You just stay off the beer until the reception is mostly done. Don’t need you drunk over there, you know?”

“I wonder if she’s gonna still work on catfish night?”

His wife looked at him with amazement. “A girl from the Bend. Work as a catfish girl? Get a life Eddie!”

“Mike works here.”

“Mike works here because June works here.
Once he has June, you’ll loose your little catfish girl. Get ready for it!”

Eddie went to his pantry to fetch the ingredients for the cake.

Buddy dropped into the local pub to have a beer. The place had been a Mexican Restaurant, but after a while, the beer sold more than the tacos so now the only Mexican food in the place was the nachos that graced the table while you drank beer. His mother had called him and he’d driven all the way down to be at the wedding. This afternoon his mind was troubled, though, and a few beers would ease it a bit. The little bar was actually dirty, and the food would make you sick, but that didn’t matter because no one ever really came there to eat anyway. They went there to sit at the tall tables and play video games, drinking piss warm beer and telling lies. Anyone who was stupid enough to eat there deserved what they got.

“Miller,” he said as he sat in the booth.

The young girl took his order and returned with the chips, sauce, and beer. He sipped the glass and ate a chip. She watched him and since it was not a very busy afternoon, she came back to talk a minute. Her name was Sabrina, and she’d known Buddy all of his life. In high school the lines between Mexican and Anglo had been heavy and black, but they had become light and gray of late and her heart warmed to the boy she’d loved all of her life.

“How’s it going, Buddy? You in town for the wedding over to the Bend?”

“Oh, yeah. Wouldn’t wanna miss that crock of shit! Not every day you see a sixteen year old girl get married on your momma’s back porch.”

The waitress smiled. She was thin, but not too thin. Her jeans fit well, and she had on a little Mexican top that accented the slight figure that she had. Her hair was dark, and very tightly curled, falling to her shoulders. In all of her years in high school with Buddy, she knew his moods. She knew a lot more about him than that. They had been on the school newspaper when they were seniors, and more than one time they had cleared the drafting table off and fell into each other’s arms. Then, after graduation, they’d drifted apart. The little west Texas town had exactly two kinds of people in it. There were those who stayed, and those who left. She was one of those who stayed, and Buddy was one of those who would never be home no matter how far he went. Still, inside he was coming to the slow realization that just perhaps “home” was more than the Bend, and as close as this young lady’s heart. She never pushed him toward any choice. She was just always “there.”

“Yeah, but this sixteen year old is the Catter!”

“You know, I get the impression that little girl was born fully developed. I can’t remember a single time she didn’t look like Tanya Tucker.”

The waitress sat in the booth opposite Buddy, and studied his face. “You’re taken with June, ain’t you?”

He looked up from the beer, “What in the world makes you think that?”

“Oh, a woman knows. Hey, it’s not so bad. Mike’s like seventeen, eighteen, huh. June’s sixteen, but you Buddy, you and me, we’re twenty-one! When we were in high school she was like eleven!”

He smiled, “Yeah, and she looked just like she does now.”

“Well, your brother…”

“Step!”

“You’re step brother is close to her age, and
they’ve known each other a long time.” Her finger eased across the table and played with his hand that was on the beer glass. “Why don’t you try someone who’s more your age, and type?”

He let his other hand lay gently on hers. “Sabrina, I don’t let that bother me. I don’t like Mike anyway. You know that. June is no angel, but she deserves more than him.”

“Well, she probably does deserve better, I’ll give you that, and you are right; June the Cat is not an angel by any stretch of the imagination!”

The woman who owned the bar came in and Sabrina got up and began wiping the table as if she had been there all along working. Leaning over, “Where you going tonight?”

“Home. Over to Momma’s. Where else? What you got in mind?”

“I live over on Cactus Drive now. Not much of a trailer, but I got beer, and a VCR. If you wanna?”

“I’ll drop by after I pay my respects, ok?” She winked and went to refill his glass.

Sabrina Sanchez was thought of as “Mexican,” but her real heritage was Comanche. The land of the Bend had been her people’s land until the last century when the ancestor’s of John Stillwell had suddenly turned up on it and the Comanche were all moved off after being sold out by an old Witch Doctor who vanished into history. Now the Indian face was so rare in west Texas that any dark skin that wasn’t Negro was regarded simply as Mexican. But Sabrina’s father had never let her forget that she was not a Mexican but a descendant of a proud race.

Buddy sat there and drank beer until he could no longer feel his lips. He was looking for direction and would not find any answers tonight, only a headache in the morning. Events were swirling around him so fast that the beer could not slow it down. As he looked over at the bar he thought that perhaps somewhere in Sabrina’s arms tonight the rush in his head would subside somewhat and for a little while he would just be the Buddy that he’d been before Mike came along!

Red Flag! Here Come The Judge Low Rider Meanwhile Down In Texas Lost Dog Chicago! Truth Is Now Hate Speech Joe Biden and the #METOO Roundup The First Church of the Accomodation The Butcher Shop

The post CigarBox – Wedding Bells appeared first on Tea Party Tribune.

The First Church of the Accomodation

Fri, 04/05/2019 - 9:21am

A couple years ago I made a comment to a gathering in Utah that if the Mormon Church didn’t get a firm grip on the foundations of the faith that they would see the day when a lesbian would perform a wedding ceremony in their Salt Lake temple. That brought a round of laughter. Well, they stopped laughing yesterday when the church agreed to baptize the children of same sex marriages.

Now, on the surface this appears to be a kind move to attempt to bring children into the fold, but there is a more sinister move behind it. While Honey Boo Boo is being dunked, daddy and daddy will be standing there smiling proudly as the church faithful are trying to peel the duck tape off their mouths.

Gay marriage flies in the face of everything the Mormon Church represents. With the specter of polygamy still hanging over the Escalanté The Church of Latter Day Saints of Jesus Christ burst upon the scene in the mid-1800s as the most woman chasing sect since Mohammed and the boys. The basic tenant of the church concerning pre-existence, and bringing down as many souls as possible in order for them to work their way back to Heavenly Father is foundational. So how many souls can two dudes (or dudettes) bring down?

Perhaps a name change is in order. Something like The First Church of the Accommodation. The church has shown a willingness to bend to the will of social pressure, I mean God, since its conception. Not all decisions were bad. Like back in the ’70s when God did a reversal and declared black people to be human. That was cool. They threw plural marriage on the bargaining table in 1894 in exchange for statehood. Now I guess the queen in the Peach Day parade in Brigham city will really be a ”queen.”

This is the continuing degradation of the American character. Nothing more, nothing less. There are no more absolutes and any resistance to popular opinion is now ”hate speech!” Gay couples will soon tread the halls where yesterday they wouldn’t be allowed on the same side of the street. No matter what you think of LDS theology you should grieve silently for the loss of the last vestige of the pioneer spirit. Where’s Porter when you need him?

The Butcher Shop

The post The First Church of the Accomodation appeared first on Tea Party Tribune.

Joe Biden and the #METOO Roundup

Fri, 04/05/2019 - 7:52am

Biden comes from the baby kissing days of politics. Shake all the men’s hands, hug the ladies, and kiss the babies. Women were women, men were men, and the sheep were nervous. #METOO changed all that. Even my granddaughter, Puck, became a #METOO too! And she’s only twelve years old. She’s a #MENEVER! Recently, as she sat beside me on a couch, I casually put my arm across her shoulders and she immediately said, ”I’m very uncomfortable with this.” I became a #MEWTF? We now shake hands, but only with her express permission.

While it’s a lot of fun to see memes of Joe Biden resting his hands on the shoulders of the Statue of Liberty, kissing her in her left ear, it is not truly accurate about this man, and its not totally fair. The #METOO movement has so codified relationships that the instruction manual for interaction between men and women resembles the one for the 737 Max, with NO stall control.

I don’t date. I don’t even date my wife! I take my dog, Cleo out, but she’s a bitch. I live a solitary life. I get along with myself just fine. I have absolutely no social skills, and couldn’t pick up on signals from a woman if she wrote them across her forehead with lipstick. And it’s not my age, I was a klutz in high school. But, I must say that Texas girls back then WERE girls. They’d jump into a river or cattle tank naked with you in a New York minute. Now they’re all a bunch of school teachers, nearing retirement, trying to make sense out of a bunch of #METOOs.

The asteroid killed the dinosaurs and political correctness will be the end of the human race. It has gotten too complicated and legally dangerous to entwine yourself with anyone except possibly your Siamese Twin. There’s even a new group expounding the idea of NEVER having sex because the world is just too far gone to bring children into it.

So, I’ll just sit on my porch with a vodka martini and imagine that maybe, just maybe out in west Texas there’s a girl in homemaking class that just knows if she can learn to make that meatloaf just right Billy Joe Jim Bob will marry her and she won’t have to sling hash down at Fat Eddie’s Catfish Emporium like her mother did.

The Butcher Shop

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Truth Is Now Hate Speech

Thu, 04/04/2019 - 3:18pm

Apparently, someone at Facebook thinks that my comment calling ILLEGAL Aliens ILLEGAL, and calling illegal immigration “criminal” is considered “hate speech,” and they have removed my posting. I assume whoever made the decision to ban my comment agrees with Julian Castro who wants to “decriminalize” illegal immigration.

However, it is my opinion (protected by the 1st Amendment) that a person who does something ILLEGAL is a “criminal,” and breaking immigration laws is a crime, at least until that law is changed and the borders are abolished.

I should ask once again rhetorically, “What part of the word ILLEGAL don’t some people understand?” Like sanctuary jurisdictions that pretend immigration laws don’t exist and therefore they don’t need to comply if someone at Facebook doesn’t like my opinion that illegal immigration is a crime, am I evil and hateful or are they forcing their political views and judgments on me?


This appears to be another example of liberals, leftists, and progressives imposing their ideas on the rest of us, and chilling the atmosphere of free speech and thought.


Saying that illegal aliens have committed a crime by entering ILLEGALLY into the U.S. doesn’t make me hateful. My comments are not “hate speech.”

My comment was… “Illegal aliens broke immigration laws, and they are criminals. Illegal aliens that commit further crimes in this country have added to their criminality.”


I will fight and appeal and fight Facebook’s decision.

El Conservador
George Rodriguez

The Butcher Shop

The post Truth Is Now Hate Speech appeared first on Tea Party Tribune.

Chicago!

Thu, 04/04/2019 - 8:38am

Here’s a news flash for ya:

https://apple.news/A7gH4IWAOTNe_pFOZ9z_lZA

Chicago hasn’t been run right since Al Capone ran it. A city that has flamboyantly touted its corruption for all to see, recently throwing its own police department under the bus to protect yet another crooked politician, the citizens rose up in mass and installed a whole new bus route. Just like the American people did when they elected Donald Trump in 2016. Now that’s some deep political analysis, but if you look at it squarely that dog will hunt! I didn’t see any mention of party affiliations, but since she’s a woman, black, and a yankee, dollar to a donut she’s a Democrat. That, and there are no calls for impeachment. But, that doesn’t MATTER! The old order changeth! If you like your party, you can keep your party. Trump just used a tired old elephant to take the White House.

Normally I’d go into a Republican rant, but this is just too funny to disassemble. This chick, I guess she’s a chick, is so far left she’s right! Chicago is so messed up that a Bull Dyke mayor is a semblance of normalcy. Go figure!

Let’s be honest. A Jew shopping in the Golan Heights is safer than a child getting on a school bus in south Chicago. Smollett didn’t have to hire his homies to fake an attack. Heck! Just walk around with a pair of new shoes and a watch for a while!

Chicago has the best gun control in the nation. The drive bys never miss. Chicago is the one city that I will not drive through, and I’ve driven through everything from the Bronx to Watts! The Muslims wanna take over something take THAT over! Come to think of it, that might kill two birds with one stone.

But, the simple fact is the people of Chicago are fed up! The election was so obvious the opponent couldn’t get enough dead people to vote to even get a respectable showing at the polls. Big Al coulda won.

Lightfoot’s color, gender, or political party had nothing to do with her nearly seventy-five percent run at the polls. Her opponent’s connection with ANYTHING incumbent made the cut. In a city that has stopped functioning long ago the voters would have elected the Devil Had he ran!

Of course Lightfoot has her work cut out for her. City Hall is full of the “same ol’ same ol.” During her campaign she had an ad where she walked into a darkened room and turned on a light. So the light is about to come on for real. I hope the people of Chicago get a good look. And if you don’t like the results just look back to 1776. The people in England didn’t like that either.

The Butcher Shop

The post Chicago! appeared first on Tea Party Tribune.

Lost Dog

Wed, 04/03/2019 - 1:51pm

Lost Dog. Think back. Do you remember losing a dog? I do. Back in 1962 my dog, Theresa was shot and killed by a hunter while playing down on Nolan Creek here in Killeen. My friend, Jr, brought her to me. I buried her along the bank, under a bridge. I went after school each day and read her the newspaper. I’d share my day with her. Today, after all these years, Austin, Nashville, L. A. and a slew of ex-wives, whenever I pass over that bridge I still say, “Hi” to Theresa and talk about my day.

With politics, the economy, global warming and all the rest there is still nothing that comes close to the bond between a child and a dog. My grandson, Justin routinely gets under the formal table and talks to his little dog, Cleo. And Cleo listens, and cocks her head like she’s got good sense.

About a week ago Brother Theo was driving along a country road near Rogers, Texas. Up ahead he saw a big, red dog darting in and out of the road. Upon getting closer he found that there were some kids luring the hapless animal with bits of bread, only to throw rocks at him when he drew near. If you’ve seen the remake of the classic movie “True Grit” you no doubt recall the scene where Rooster comes upon some kids torturing a donkey. He loses the animal and then kicks the little pricks off the porch. Now that’s what Theo SHOULD have done, but there’s too many Yankees in Texas now, and we have laws. So Theo just opened his door and the dog enthusiastically jumped in.

He was a big, beautiful blood hound with an agreeable nature. He sat in the seat like a gentleman and Theo brought him to me. He was starving. In the next two days he plowed through twenty pounds of dog food. It took two days for him to regain his bark. We noticed that he was neutered, coat was clean and toenails well under control. How many dogs show up with a pedicure? This dog was someBODY! That meant that somebody was missing him.

I put up a notice online and Theo told his daughter, Jenny about it. She lived in the Rogers area. So she began to shake the bushes. I called him Porter Rockwell because he appeared to be a dog of consequence. It seemed fitting to name him after the Danite guardian angel. That was until my alley cat, “Mister” treed him him on top of the BBQ grill. Porter was just a nice guy!

Porter watched TV, and was partial to a beer. He would also point birds. Sometimes he’d sleep inside on the couch, after he “made his bed” by throwing all the cushions in the floor, and sometimes he’d sleep on top of the BBQ grill. He had this howling bark that sounded like some guy just escaped from the prison down at Huntsville. I got used to him.

Well, as I well knew, he DID have family, and Jenny found them. A family of tractor driving farmers complete with horses, baby girls and I’m quite sure at least one member called “Bubba!” Didn’t Obama try to tell us such people didn’t exist anymore? Porter’s real name was Cooper. He had just had breakfast when I called him in. Now there was a morning ritual. Whenever you fed Cooper he had to give you a hug. As he gave me the hug I told him that we’d found his people. I swear to God he understood! The began to wag his tail wildly, while at the same time looking me in the eye with a twinge of sadness.

I contacted the family and they made plans to come and get him. I’m gonna miss him. In such a short time we grew close, but he has people, and a life. Maybe Porter Rockwell was a good second name. Maybe he is the guardian angel for a little girl in Rogers, Texas. I must tell Theresa about him the next time we talk.

The Butcher Shop

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Meanwhile Down In Texas

Wed, 04/03/2019 - 8:59am

Meanwhile, here in Texas:

From the Customs & Border Protection Newsroom:

On Wednesday, March 27, CBP agents in Laredo arrested a Mexican national wanted in Maryland for two counts of homicide. Border sectors continue to encounter large groups of illegal aliens: on Sunday, a group of 116 was encountered near Abram; on Monday, agents in Rio Grande City apprehended a group of 110 illegal aliens from Honduras, El Salvador and Guatemala. Shortly after, a group of 98 was encountered near Roma.

On Tuesday, a group of 158 was encountered near Penitas. Near Abram that same day, agents apprehended 105 illegal aliens. A group of 123 was taken into custody near Mission. On Thursday, agents apprehended a group of 190 illegal aliens from Central America. Overall, CBP agents in the RGV sector apprehended nearly 1,700 illegal aliens on Tuesday. That same day agents halted several drug smuggling attempts, seizing more than 245 lbs. of narcotics worth an estimated $846,000.

MS-13 gang members, a sex offender, and 15 Chinese nationals were also arrested over the weekend. The El Paso sector made a separate arrest of a sex offender who attempted to blend in with a group of other illegal aliens.

This week, CBP announced that detainees will begin to be released in the Del Rio Sector due to high capacity at their detention facilities. CBP held a press conference on Wednesday in which it announced the status of the border security crisis. Over 100,000 apprehensions are expected for the Southwest border in March.

The Butcher Shop

The post Meanwhile Down In Texas appeared first on Tea Party Tribune.

Left Wing Lunacy for March 2019

Tue, 04/02/2019 - 11:02am
Left Wing Lunacy for March 2019

There was no shortness of left-wing lunacy for March as the liberal heads exploded with the release of the Mueller Report stating there was no Trump-Russian collusion.  These same Democrats stated in 2017 that “Republicans must accept Robert Mueller’s finding”; but now in 2019 the same Democrat have stated, “We do not accept Robert Mueller’s findings.”  They are blaming Attorney General William Barr as covering for Trump.  However, don’t you think if Barr was covering for Trump, Mueller and his team of lawyers would be on CNN demanding action?   I am sure these Democrats are upset to know Trump’s approval rating climbed to 50 percent despite 94 percent of news coverage from Fake News being negative on the president. 

You would think these Democrats would feel good knowing how other liberals have been able to get away with crimes (for now).  Prosecutor Kim Foxx, who had received $408,000 from Socialist George Soros, dropped 16 felonies against Jussie Smollett after Tina Tchin, an aide to Michelle Obama, reached out to her.   Smollett is friends with the Obama family, which in their world excuses a false report about a hate crime and statements that Smollett was attacked by Trump supporters with a noose in order to incite violence and public perception?  The Democrats and liberal media have been trying to incite racism into America to divide Americans for their political gain.  It seems Democrats have not been so upset at Republicans since Republicans freed the slaves.

In California, Governor Gavin Newson undermined the will of the people to stop the death sentence to 737 violent killers including Richard Allen Davis, who kidnapped and brutally murdered Polly Klass, or the Night Stalker, Richard Ramirez, who killed multiple people in their homes.  While the loony Democrats want to protect violent killers, those same Democrats refuse to protect babies who survive an abortion.  In some cases, a new born infant was left to die for up to 2 ½ hours, laying and crying without any medical assistance.  This is murder, un-American, and those Democrat lunatics have blood on their hands.

I have to also wonder if Democrats even knows that former Vice-President Joe Biden has had two women claim that they were the victims of unwelcomed touching/kissing from Biden.  I heard CNN and MSNBC forgot to cover that story. 

Kamala Harris, who’s is a direct descendant of slave owners, has suggested legalizing prostitution.  This is the same woman who sold herself into sex, sleeping with a married man named Willie Brown for her political expediency.  Maybe Democrats are thinking of taxing prostitutes for their socialist experiment, which Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez “New Green Deal” failed in the senate without a single vote.  Speaking of Socialism, Bernie Sanders has announced to run for president, hiring an illegal immigrant as his Press Secretary.  Apparently, he could not find a single mother or a veteran and an American. 

Speaking of illegal immigrants, Democrats claimed there was no border crisis; but the Kopits study revealed in March that 103,000 women and girls as young as 10 will be raped on their way to the border this year.  The study reported there will be 2,600 murders and 34,000 kidnappings.  The Democrats are responsible for this crisis by encouraging illegal immigration rather than a guest worker program or other forms of legal immigration.

Looney Democrats also voted for HR 1397, including our own Congressman Josh Harder, to prevent ICE from being notified if an illegal immigrant attempted to purchase a firearm.  How ironic Democrats are so quick to pass legislation to remove firearms from law abiding citizens; but would protect illegal immigrants.

Another liberal lunatic is Ilhan Omar, who married her brother to get him into America.  This racist Democrat, who is a Somali, Islamic Muslim, hates Israel and its right to exist and has made many anti-Semitic comments.  The Democrats passed a resolution against anti-Semitic comments without naming those Democrats making anti-Semitic comments.

As the lunacy of Democrats continue to chug along, Lily Garcia, who is president of the National Education Association, pushes gender ideology on Kindergarteners reading the book, “I am Jazz”, a story about a boy that believes he is a girl explaining to children as young as four what transgender is.  The story continues, “When I was born …., they all thought I was a boy…”  It is not long before those Democrats will pass a law like done in Ontario, Canada where children can be seized from their parents if the parents oppose their gender transition.

In New Zealand, an Eco-Fascist (liberal) racist killed 50 Muslims and somehow the liberal media tried to blame Trump.  I do not recall anyone blaming Obama when 49 gay Americans were killed by a Muslim in Florida.  I also never hear about the thousands of Christians who are murdered each year by Muslims throughout the world, especially in Nigeria.

March ended with all the strong holds of ISIS being removed in Syria.  Unfortunately, you will never hear any Democrat or the liberal media giving credit to President Trump and our military for eliminating this threat.

And this is just a sample of the Democrat lunacy for March 2019.

Frank Aquila is president of the South San Joaquin Republicans and author of the book, “Sarah Palin Out of Nowhere”.  He can be emailed at [email protected]

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Targeted Individuals

Tue, 04/02/2019 - 10:05am

The TI community is very uneducated and un-researched because of lack ability to use computers or forgetting the basics in science that we were all required to learn. When confronted with persecution via illegal black budget covert ops government spy agency technology most revert to “magical” thinking and falling prey to preachers, disinformation agents, misinformation agents, scammers, and all other form of snake oil salesmen who wish to make profit of the suffering off of the afflicted people’s suffering.

These con-artists will speak in terms of fake religious zeal and pseudo-science in which they can not explain. Instead they rely on charisma to win over the normal thoughts of their victims which override critical thought in their targets which allow them to take advantage of them. That in combination of these victims having no other options, they are pushed into being scammed into giving up what little money that they have filling the pockets of the slick tonged fraud.

After the placebo effect wears off the victim is left even more helpless and hopeless having misused their own funds that should have gone to other places to improve their lives. This has gone on and has happened through out history.

The charlatans profiting off of the criminal’s victims are often supported by the original perps which give fake testimony backing up the con-man whether its wittingly or unwittingly to the parasite snake-oil salesman.

Today is no different with the exception of the use of the internet which allows this crime to go on and more parasites to gather around to take advantage from a distance much like the original perps who has created the original crime creating the need.

This is a PSYOP which is the second oldest depraved profession next to the number one, which is prostitution. Ladies and gentlemen we all must be skeptical and educate ourselves so that we don’t fall prey to our enemy.

The Butcher Shop

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Low Rider

Tue, 04/02/2019 - 9:30am

All my friends are the Low Rider. First, definitions. The institutional revolutionary party (PRI) Mexican political party founded in 1929 held uninterrupted power for seventy-one years until 2000. Then the National Revolutionary Party (CNR) still holds eleven hundred and twenty three seats in these state legislatures.

Enrikue Pena Nieto. Started caravans. PRI Lost the last presidential election. Pissed off. Belongs to a very powerful Mexican family.

Andoes Manuel López Obrador President. Winner of the last election. Currently being pissed on.

Did you think these caravans just happened by accident? All these people seeking refuge just suddenly sprang up and walked over a thousand miles to the US border? Well, if you do have I got a bridge for you and it’s on sale. It spans the Rio Grande between Laredo and Nuevo Laredo. Go inspect it. The bidding will begin shortly.

When a Mexican politician dies you don’t have to bury them. They are so crooked that all you have to do is drive a stick through their ears and screw them into the ground.

They came on trains. Bet you didn’t see that on CNN, huh? Just like when Muslims killed one hundred and forty five Christians a couple weeks ago and all you heard about was the New Zealand shooting, you never saw the “refugees” hurling toward America in the freaking club car.

Ask yourself. How did these caravans just storm into Mexico and end up at the border with new shoes, fat, dumb, and happy, and talking on cell phones? Because Nieto paid them to do it in order to politically embarrass Obrador, that’s how!

Do you honesty think the Cartels wouldn’t have robbed them silly? Do you honestly think the Mexican army turned tail and ran at the approach of a bunch of hobos? How many died of hunger or dehydration along the way. During the Mormons’ flight to Utah they were dropping like flies. The wagon train that brought my family to Texas in 1872 left graves all along the way. Even Santa Anna planted a good number of his soldiers on the way to the Alamo. But these people, by and large made it to the border, and not only that, began jumping fences like Olympic athletes after they got there! All in an effort by Enrikue Pena Nieto to degrade the credibility of Andoes Manuel López Obrador. Because he knew President Trump would stomp a mud hole in Obrador’s butt, and walk it dry, and THAT would translate into a victory at the next election!

What wasn’t expected was that Trump would seal the border and stop that one hundred billion dollar trade between the US and Mexico. Now MEXICO is going to have a national emergency! Mexico is not really a third world country. They have the best drug trade in the world. And excellent gun control if you’re just a regular José. Lots of trade between our two countries, but Mexico is croooooked! Crookeder than us! But, in all fairness the cocaine wouldn’t be so lucrative if our noses weren’t so big.

So, in the near future the next two caravans are going to run into a Trump induced traffic jam. The Mexicans will have to feed, clothe and billet them. We, on this side of the border will doing just fine over here, and we don’ wan’ to meet your seester!

The Butcher Shop

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Here Come The Judge

Mon, 04/01/2019 - 9:37am

Here Come The Judge

So! The Chicago DA dropped all sixteen charges against Jussie Smollett! Now, I can’t fix a traffic ticket. That must be my white privilege. I was going to cite Chicago crime statistics for you, but I don’t have that much space on my iPhone.

Smollett is black, gay, and liberal. On election day in California that’ll let you vote three times . He’s also an actor on some TV show the millennials watch so he’s trendy too. You’d think this guy had it going on! Well, he DIDN’T! Seems the season was drawing to a close, so before filming started on the next one he wanted a raise. He believed he was paid substantially less than he was worth. Probably because he’s black. So, he had to generate a little publicity.

So, since ninety-nine point nine nine nine percent of the people in the country didn’t know who the hell he was, this proved to be a daunting task. What to do? Ok, given the political climate, let’s see, he’s a rump ranger, and black so it’s safe to say he’s not welcome at the Rattlesnake Bar down in Florence, Texas. Toss in a MAGA hat or two, mix a little butt whipping, a rope, and oh yes, call him the ”N” word two or three times and VOILA! Sidney Poitier!

So, as the story has it he hired two guys to slap him around, call him a queer, complain about his complexion a bit, and put a rope around his neck. He did this near a security camera, but forgot that you have to be in FRONT of the camera in order to be filmed. Oh, and the guys he hired were black. (I knew that right off the bat when they didn’t hang him.)

Save your fork, folks. It gets better! So, here comes Amos and Andy back from Nigeria, and the cops snag ’em, bag ‘em, and drag ’em to the interrogation room, slap ’em around a little bit, and then let ’em go, turn around, pick Jussie up and basically charge him with the Kennedy assassination, or a reasonable facsimile thereof. The two Nigerians had invoked the ”I wasn’t wid that brotha” defense. That’s some strong legal stuff in Chicago. You can’t make this stuff up, folks.

Then he stumbles into the ER, and the Po Po goes NUTZ! This was the hate crime to end all hate crimes. You see under the Federal Law, PC666 it enhances the crime if you beat up someone you don’t like. The black police chief got with the black DA and they pounded the black streets of Chicago looking for these Klansmen. Did I mention they were black? The Black Klux Klan. Hey! That’s trendy. Transgender, Trans Klander. I outta run for president. Hell! Everybody else is. Now, where was I? Oh yeah. Only problem was that while the fuzz was stepping over the bodies of children killed in last night’s Chicago drivebys looking for whomEVER made Jussie’s makeup run, the two perps were back in Nigeria partying off that thirty-five hundred dollars Juliette, I mean Jussie paid them for that Hollywood ass whipping.

So by now the chief, the DA, and the entire police force of Chicago is telling the press that the crime rate in Chicago has sky-rocketed because all the cops were out there combing the bushes looking for suspects on this case. No, your crime rate is so high because your citizenry, unlike your criminals, is unarmed! Talking about how they take hate crimes very serious, this act of deception cannot be tolerated and sixteen FELONY charges will be filed on Jussie. And here comes the judge! Well, to make a long story short Jussie lawyered up the DA and the judge broke weak, and the charges all got dropped. Oh, there was some lady politician involved too, but she wasn’t wid dem brothas neither. Then they sealed the case. Do you know how much money I could have saved over the years in my six divorce settlements with that clause?

So, what did we learn from all this! We basically learned that hate crime mania is a rocky road. They had to kick his butt with EMPATHY! The police just KNEW this was gonna get Trump impeached. Off the record, I knew it was all phony when Al Sharpton didn’t show up. We also learned that CNN cameras have a profound effect on police, and being gay is a pretty good defense when you’re caught with your pants down. Oh, sorry about that, Jussie. Here comes the judge, here comes the judge . . .

The Butcher Shop

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Red Flag!

Sun, 03/31/2019 - 4:32am

Folks Red Flag laws in Texas are back in disguise…Pay Attention.
From Rachel Malone:…GOA…Gun Owners of America

Now the legislature is back with “mental health” proposals that are actually long-term gun control and “red flag” in disguise.

Last summer, a Red Flag Gun Confiscation scheme was proposed in Texas. Under that proposal, the ability to own guns could have been taken away from a person who hadn’t committed any crime and wasn’t even accused of committing a crime. The grassroots made it abundantly clear they weren’t going to stand for it because of the inherent lack of due process. They stood up and made their voice heard, and the “red flag” proposals went away — temporarily.

First, the Threat Assessment Teams. SB 11 and other bills would mandate that schools instruct teachers, staff, and students in how to identify a threat. The standards are open-ended. Schools are instructed to utilize resources from the Texas School Safety Center. This Center’s current resources include suggestive statements identifying legal gun possession as a potential threat. That’s a problem.

In addition, compounding this problem, multiple bills seek to stigmatize and marginalize gun ownership. They are blatant attempts to paint the image that people who own guns, or shoot them, or carry them, or have them in their cars are atypical, may be prone to violence, and should be viewed with suspicion. They want to control the way you think about guns, and that’s wrong.

They also want even more control over firearms ownership. Texas already has a long list of people who may not possess firearms — some legislators would like to see that extended to include people who have been assigned fiduciaries to manage their affairs. Nationwide, this category would cover more than a quarter of a million military veterans.

So here’s why all of this is such a problem.

  1. It violates due process to take away guns when there’s not even probable cause of a crime. This is far too low of a threshold for removal of a Constitutional right.
  2. These proposals focus on psychiatric treatment — but they don’t recognize that psychiatric drugs may actually make these individuals MORE violent instead of less. This leads to the conclusion that modern mental health treatment may be a very WRONG solution for reducing violence.
  3. Experts say that it is very difficult — perhaps impossible — to accurately predict future violence. Yet these proposals are based around being able to make these predictions!
  4. Even if the legislative intent is pure, and even if the legislature wouldn’t dream of a law being used nefariously against gun owners, an open-ended law can always be interpreted in a hostile way that marginalizes populations such as gun owners.

Firearms are a valuable tool. Stigmatizing firearm ownership & safe, legal use of gun is wrong, and it’s dangerous. A gun is a useful defensive tool. My gun gives me a fighting chance at saving my life — or maybe yours. Guns are a tool. They are one of many tools that can be used for good or for evil, but in the hands of civilians, guns are used so much more often to protect innocent life than to harm it.

Don’t look to the nanny state to keep you safe. Their solution is to spread a wider net of control over your behavior. But evil will always exist, and all the government control in the world can’t stop it. The most effective legislative solution would be to repeal restrictions on law-abiding citizens carrying guns. Government needs to get the heck out of our lives and start respecting our personal responsibility of protecting ourselves.

Gun Owners of America stands firmly behind individual rights. That means we believe in limited government, we stand against unlawful searches and seizures, we honor property rights, and we work to uphold your Constitutional right to keep and bear arms in defense of yourself and your liberty. We will never compromise on those beliefs. And the legislature had better take note.

–my statement at today’s press conference with Grassroots America: We The People about the Big Nanny State mental health bills and how they affect gun rights

=====

References:

Friedman, Richard. (2017) “Psychiatrists Can’t Stop Mass Killers.” New York Times. https://www.nytimes.com/…/o…/psychiatrists-mass-killers.html

Get in the Fight to Stop Red Flag Laws! (2019) Gun Owners of America. https://gunowners.org/get-in-the-fight-to-stop-red-flag-gu…/

Gun Ownership & Carry Prohibitions. (2018) Gun Owners of America, Texas. https://drive.google.com/…/1JWt47oi_eDPcqaf4Zm0uSPTYd…/view…

Kirschner, David, Ph.D. (2014) “Mass Shooters Received Only Limited Treatment.” National Psychologist.
https://nationalpsychologist.com/…/mass-shooter…/102638.html

Lott, John, Ph.D. (2019) “Defensive Gun Uses By People Legally Carrying Guns Over the Past Two Months.” Crime Prevention Research Center. https://crimeresearch.org/…/defensive-gun-uses-by-people-l…/

Lott, John, Ph.D. (2019) “Why we shouldn’t depend on mental health professionals to detect mass killers.” Crime Prevention Research Center.
https://crimeresearch.org/…/why-we-shouldnt-depend-on-ment…/

Malone, Rachel (2018). “TWO VIEWS: ‘Red flag’ law makes us vulnerable to ‘thought police’”. Austin American-Statesman. https://www.statesman.com/…/two-views-red-flag-law-makes-us…

Svitek, Patrick & McCullough, Jolie. (2018) “Prospects for “red flag” gun law in Texas plummet as Abbott sees “coalescence” against it.” The Texas Tribune. PATRICK SVITEK AND JOLIE MCCULLOUGH https://www.texastribune.org/2018/07/27/red-flag-gun-law/

The School Shooter: A Threat Assessment Perspective (1999). FBI.
https://locker.txssc.txstate.edu/…/The-School-Shooter-A-Thr…

Veterans Administration Has Revoked 260,000 Veterans’ Gun Rights… In Last 90 Days! (2016) Gun Owners of America. https://gunowners.org/oped04052016/

The Butcher Shop

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CigarBox – Wedding Bells In The Bend

Sat, 03/30/2019 - 7:18am

Wedding Bells in the Bend



“Dish” Bob sat back and answered his phone. He worked full time as a used car salesman, and part time as a minister of the gospel, saving souls wherever he found them. He had drifted into west Texas from a very mysterious past and insinuated himself upon the local scene in the Bend and the little town that hosted the click. He was a well-rounded man standing every bit of five feet tall and weighing just over three hundred pounds. He had a passion for young women and sweet wine. He had memorized the Bible years ago and one did not want to get into a debate with him on that subject. He got the nick name “Dish” Bob from his Louisiana drawl when he answered his phone with a, “Dish Bob, kin ah hep yew?” He really didn’t have a thick accent, but he found that it helped sales and it had hung him with the nickname “Dish” Bob. He had an easy manner, and honestly did know his bible front to back. He was as much of a theologian as this little sleepy desert town would ever know or need. He had drifted into the little town a few years back, no one could remember exactly when, and become ingratiated to the locals by performing whatever service was needed at the time. He had no formal church, preferring to borrow from whatever ministry he felt close to at any given moment. He was somewhat of a mystery. No one really knew where he’d been, or where he’d come from. To be perfectly honest he was too “street wise” to be in this little village, but he was smart enough to know that he could live comfortably here. He acted as if he were safe there. As if he’d left some things somewhere he’d like to forget. He’d popped up when the Bend was well developed, and quickly became a local fixture as if he’d been there all along.

The little town was full of people like that. No one was FROM there. Everyone seemed to have just MOVED there. He was the preacher everyone ran to when they needed a quick wedding with no questions asked. He also was very good at putting people down and blessing them onto heaven without counting individual sins with a heavy hand. His weddings were a fixture in the little town. He’d give the young couple a little lecture, and then he’d do his duty, and collect the twenty-five dollars that was customary to give a preacher in the town for such an event.

“Dish Bob, kin ah hep yew?”

Claudette’s voice came over the phone, “Bob, we need a bit of marrying over to the Bend. Mike’s marrying June the Cat.”

At the sound of Claudette’s voice he dropped the accent, “Praise the Lord! Young love in flower. Isn’t it amazing how God’s creation renews itself repeatedly?”

“I don’t know nothing about that, but we need to get them married on Saturday.”

“Might I inquire as to the nature of the expediency of the proceedings?”

“She ain’t pregnant if that’s what you’re driving at. Barbara’s threatening to put Mike in jail if he don’t marry her.”

“Oh, my. Two young lovers torn from each other’s arms much as Romeo and Juliet. We certainly can’t have the young man trapped within the walls of Huntsville prison. By all means, I say, by all means we will convey the rites of holy matrimony to the couple at your convenience.”

“We will need your services on Saturday.”

“This Saturday? I mean, here it is Tuesday, and that barely gives you time for the blood tests, and, if I may be delicate here, there is the issue of the lady’s age. She is sixteen is she not?”

“She’s fifteen or sixteen, I don’t know for sure. She’s running ‘round the SPJST halls ain’t she? She’s old enough, and Barbara’s gonna sign for her. Can you make it? I’ll pay you a thousand dollars.”

“Most assuredly. Might I inquire as to where the reception will take place?”

“Same porch you’re gonna marry them on. Food and drink will be provided.”

“Ah, dinner in the Bend. I do so love a good plate of Prime Rib, and what will the beverage be?”

“Beer, Whiskey and tea.”

“Ah, sister, I knew we were of a kindred spirit. I will surely be there to place the Lord’s blessings on the proceedings.”

Anyone who was anyone in the little town went to a flower shop known as the “Daisy” to get fixings for a wedding. Since this was to be a wedding at the Bend, it had to be top flight. No social event at the Bend could be under done, even a rush job like this one. There must be too much food, too much drink and too many people to turn out and show the town exactly what it meant to live in the Bend! The police who patrolled the area would even drop by, as would the ever-present Deputy Dog who would always be willing to eat at least one plate full of everything.

The proprietor of the Daisy would handle all the floral, and decorative arrangements. Only the best bows, the best ribbons, and the best flowers were to be used for anyone prestigious enough to recite their vows in the Bend! Normally the father of the bride would be in charge of all of this, along with the bill, but the very fact that the wedding involved a citizen of the Bend cancelled all social norm.

Ray would be allowed to come to the wedding; indeed, he should have been honored that he would be allowed to be there at his stepdaughter’s wedding! He had built most of the houses in the Bend, but the minute they were done, like anyone else in the little town that didn’t live there, he knew that he was “out of place” among the wealthy and well positioned.

“I think that June should have a bouquet of cascading fresh flowers of stargazer lilies, white roses and assorted greenery,” the owner of the flower shop said.

“How about the little champagne roses,” Claudette inquired.

“Oh, no, no, too small, too withdrawn. We’re dealing with June the Cat here, you know. Everyone who is anyone will be expecting more than the usual. You do understand that this will not be your average wedding at the Bend, don’t you?”

“What about the house?”

The old lady considered for a moment, and then said, “White silk roses all over the place, from one end of the house to the other, nothing but white silk roses. Her theme must be white.”

“We ARE dealing with June the Cat.”

The flower peddler smiled a knowing smile and said, “If we don’t give her dignity who will? Her first wedding should be white, don’t you think?”

Claudette smiled and continued to look at flowers. All the ribbons were decided on, and all the other “pretties” that would adorn the house. The old lady came over to the home and measured all the distances needed to make the decorations. It was decided that the French doors would be open and framed by an arch of flowers so that the couple could be viewed under the flowers in the arch as they came back in from the altar, which was a table that normally resided behind one of the white silk couches in the living room.


Across town, June was being ferried to the local doctor to get her blood test. She hated that part. It was almost not worth getting married if she had to go through all of that.

“Oooooooch!”

“Easy, June, it’ll only take a minute.”

“Why don’t you just stick it in my butt? That’s
where you put all the other needles!”

The old general practitioner smiled and said, “Cause I’m looking for blood Cat, not fat.”

Her blue eyes flashed, “I’m not fat! Mom, is my butt fat?”

“Your butt is perfect June. Anyone in town can tell you that. Now quit squawking and give the Doc your arm, will you. We gotta pick you out a wedding gown.”

“You getting married over to the church,” the doctor asked.

“Heck no! I’m getting married in the Bend!”

He smiled to himself trying not to appear cynical. He remembered June when she was just a baby, and now she was heading for the Bend to be married. He had delivered her and knew her entire history. He finished her examination and she left to meet with Claudette and go to the woman who made the gowns.

“Now you know we ain’t gonna have time for no custom made gown, June. Heck doc’s just barely got time to get them blood tests back. I hope Mike got his done.”

“What kinda gown am I gonna get, mom?”

“Well get something nice, but something that’s made up already. Let us worry about them things. You just get yourself settled, ok?”

When they arrived at the seamstress’s shop Claudette was already there talking to the lady. June and her mother entered the store and were motioned to the back by an employee.

“June, just stand here and let the lady look you over,” Claudette said.

Barbara asked, “What are we going to do here?”

Looking very cool and collected Claudette replied, “Why Barbara, we’re about to put a wedding gown together. A young lady to be married in the Bend must have a gown that has not been worn by anyone else. Anything else is simply not acceptable.”

“Do we have time?”

“Absolutely! No wedding at the Bend has ever had a “rack” gown. June will be in a custom gown, just like all the other young ladies of the Bend!” Claudette let her hands flow over June’s perfect body, checking out the width of the shoulders, hips and so forth, and she was amazed by the simple grace and downright beauty of the young lady who had been raised in the shacks behind Fat Eddie’s Catfish Emporium.

As Claudette sized her up June felt her heart swell with pride. She had never been treated in such a way by anyone, especially not the rich and powerful Claudette Montgomery. It made her feel as if she had worth now. She felt like she was being elevated above her mother onto a plane of existence she’d only dreamed of before. The lady wrapped the tape around her again, and again. Claudette was frankly surprised by how well developed she really was. She was perfect! From her toe to her nose, there was not a flaw. Perfection in the flesh! She was a perfect woman, not girl, but woman. Claudette could not believe that this young girl had grown up in the shacks behind Fat Eddies. She was a true flower in the desert. The clear blue eyes, the perfect teeth, the sculptured lines of her body, all blended to give the effect of a stunningly beautiful girl. The broker recalled seeing a statue once in Nashville, at the Parthenon in the park of a young girl, much as June, frozen, timeless in beauty for over two thousand years. In June this beauty was recreated and brought to perfection. As there eyes met, Claudette began to think that perhaps, just perhaps, June the Cat deserved to be in the Bend. Maybe some people of quality were accidentally born outside the society they belonged within, and it just took a little time to bring them to the point they should rightfully be.

“When will it be ready?” Claudette finally broke away from the spell of June’s radiance to ask.

“Tomorrow night we should be ready for her to come and try it on. I’ll work through tonight, and then tomorrow, and it’ll be ready then.”

“It should be hanging in my closet by Friday for sure?”

“Most assuredly!”

They walked out into the parking lot. June asked, “The gown is going to your house?”

“Yes, you’ll get dressed there. I don’t want to take any chances with it. I want you to walk out in it, and onto the porch where Dish Bob will be standing. Mike will be there by then. I don’t want the gown to tear, get dirty, or anything like that.”

“What’s Mike gonna wear?”

Claudette paused, “He’ll wear a white tuxedo. My late brother, his uncle Mike wore one at his wedding, and we buried him in it back in Tennessee.”

June looked at her mother expecting some reply, but none was forthcoming. Barbara had what she wanted. She wasn’t going to get into any squabbles now as her dream for her daughter was being realized. This woman was actually putting out money on June to make her look great on her wedding day. That was enough for Barbara!

Mike was at the local department store and western wear shop being fitted for his tuxedo. It wasn’t his first tuxedo, but it would be a special one. His mother had insisted on this one being white. He didn’t argue with her because he was getting what he wanted, the same as Barbara. All in all, the entire wedding was coming together quite well. As the man stretched his yellow tape around Mike, he dreamed of his wedding night. June was a vision, and the fact that he’d been with her didn’t seem to matter. To be able to be with her forever, every night was beyond his wildest dreams.

Spare The Rod The OMG Generation Well, It’s All Over Now Boeing Boing Gone Somewhere Over The Rainbow The Veterans Administration You’re Gonna Miss Us Questions With No Answers The Tares Gay Chickens The Butcher Shop

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No Business Is Safe from the Left’s Ignorance & Envy

Fri, 03/29/2019 - 4:09pm

The late Darryl Royal once explained the problem with cockroaches, “It’s not what they eat and tote off, it’s what they fall into and mess up.”

That pretty much sums up the left’s impact on economics. Recently the most visible example was Alexandria Ocasio–Cortez’ attack on Amazon’s plans for a New York City headquarters. The ignorant but passionate congresswoman opposed the project because the company is owned by the world’s richest man and the deal was rife with crony capitalism.

Amazon then dealt a telling blow to New York City’s economic and business climate by giving AOC exactly what she wanted. The company canceled its plans.

In Tulsa city council member Vanessa Hall–Harper is the Ocasio–Cortez of the prairie. Her self–appointed mission is attacking the greatest gift to parents since the invention of the disposal diaper. Namely, the Dollar Store.

For me the Dollar Store was an integral part of parenting. A trip was a reward for good behavior. A spontaneous treat. Or a bribe to end whining. I gave my son his money and let him pick whatever he wanted. (A dangerous practice in Target or Walmart.)

And who cares if he quickly tired of the toy or it broke, because IT ONLY COST A DOLLAR!

Meanwhile, HH sees that dollar price tag as a savage assault on low–income Tulsans through using predatory pricing.

HH’s crackpot theories on the market and competition are nothing new as Bernie, AOC and Fauxcahontas demonstrate. What’s new is the platform she’s given to share the ignorance. If ‘The Nation’ or ‘In These Times’ had profiled her fight against dollar deodorant, mouthwash and Mentos it would’ve been no surprise.

But this story was in the Washington Post. And the WoePost’s national business reporter, Rachel Siegel, was mixing her own anti–business incompetence with that of the politician. Sounding like an Ulta shopper, she asserts Dollar Stores “trade in economic despair” and “undercut grocery stores” on everyday items “pushing them out of business.” Then she relays the risible claim that Dollar Stores aren’t “just a response to poverty — but a cause.”

After reading that you’d think Dollar Stores were a division of Trump Industries colluding with Russia to drive Safeway out of business.

It never occurs to Siegel or HH that the money management saves on not having to mark prices is offset by the lower disposable income of the customer base. That’s why Dollar Stores aren’t found next to the Apple Store. Management can’t afford the rent.

There’s a Dollar Store in my suburb. The county is in the top 20 most wealthy and the median household income is $126,000. The store is located next to a Food Lion that shows no signs of packing up to leave and there’s not been an outbreak of poverty or dispair since it opened.

Not only is the WoePost angry about Dollar Store pricing, it has issues with inventory and display, “Most Dollar Generals don’t sell produce”. Those that tried to appease the ignorati were condemned because “grapes, apples, avocados, potatoes [are] sandwiched between bags of fried pork skins and cases of Michelob Ultra.”

Tulsa tried to fight capitalism with cronyism and funded a grocery store through a “development grant”, but that store closed in 2014 driven out of business by dollar balloons.

Naturally the solution to combat “geographic privilege” is more crony capitalism. This time the tax dollars go to a pair of subsidy farmers who have never operated a grocery store in their lives.

That would be a sign if anyone in city hall were paying attention.

A business model that offers limited income shoppers a limited inventory with a limited price isn’t good enough for ideologues. In the left’s fantasy economics, the only reason Dean & Deluca aren’t in the ghetto is because the Dollar Store got their first.

Libertarian titans of commerce who believe their support of come–as–you–are bathrooms and donations to ‘pride’ parades they never attend will spare them the insensate wrath of the leftist mob are pulling the wool over their own eyes. Amazon and Dollar Store aren’t outliers.

They’re a harbinger.

The post No Business Is Safe from the Left’s Ignorance & Envy appeared first on Tea Party Tribune.

Gay Chickens

Fri, 03/29/2019 - 10:32am

Make no mistake about it, the assault on Chick- Fil-A is an attack on Christianity. The most recent volley fired was across the bow of Chick-Fil-A during the Battle Of The San Antonio Airport. Even Christian chickens are offensive to them.

It all stems from the franchise applying for a permit to sell chicken at the San Antonio airport. Seems simple enough. I mean they sell Bloody Maries at the airport, whats a little chicken gonna hurt! Will they serve jalapénoes do you think? No. That blessed chicken hurts the agenda of the LBTGQ, the Pro-Choice people and the Never Trump contingent. So now we have a municipality making public decisions based on their religious ideas.

I just heard your necks snap! ”Religious ideas?” you ask. ”How can this bunch if reptile baits have any kind of religion?” Verily, verily I say unto you, any time you have a belief set that makes no sense at all, that’s RELIGION! Just take Drag Queen Story Time. Men who wear dresses and like little boys. Now look at the priests caught up in the endless scandals in the Catholic Church. Men who wear dresses and like little boys. At least the FLDS likes women. They just like ’em by the six pack. Can I have an ”Amen?”

Now, let’s talk good ol’ American capitalism. From spiritual to secular. Doesn’t the CEO of Chick have a right to his personal beliefs? Does he have to give up his Bill of Rights just because he has money? Unlike some BAKERS he will most certainly serve chicken to a gay couple. Just not on Sunday, that’s all. What do you think Col. Sanders would say. Stop! Don’t say it!


The fact is, a lot of people passing through the San Antonio airport would stop by for a bite of chicken. It’s good, it’s clean, and the kiddos don’t know anything about the gay agenda. That is unless they’ve been to Drag Queen Story Time. Myself, I’ll just opt for the bar. But, there is NO city code reason Chick-Fil-A can’t serve their chicken at that airport! It was purely a move based on personal and political beliefs rather than health and zoning codes of Bexar County, and the city of San Antonio. And you people down there who did this listen up! I am a retired Realtor who appeared before the Texas Real Estate Commission twelve times with twelve wins. Twelve up, and twelve down. I even helped a group of investors bring Bush’s Fried Chicken to Killeen. So I know Real Estate Law, and being from Killeen, I DAMN sure know CHICKEN! Sit down! And yeah, I just said, ”You people!” You people know who you are!

We all have personal beliefs that guide our lives, mold our character, and tell us what to eat. I personally prefer KFC over Chick-Fil-A, which I consider to be dry. I don’t consider the religion, or sexual orientation of said chicken, however I do cast a wary eye at Chicken McNuggets. Ken Paxton is about to drag the city of San Antonio through a keyhole ”backerds.” Hope it doesn’t make their mascara run.

The Butcher Shop

The post Gay Chickens appeared first on Tea Party Tribune.

The Tares

Fri, 03/29/2019 - 6:29am

Matthew 13:25

But while the man slept, his enemy came and sowed tares among the wheat, and went his way.

Last night I had a revelation. I would love to tell you that while my dog was digging in the back yard, he came upon golden tablets which answered all the questions of life, but, like Joseph, I found no golden tablets, but I did find some tares.

I theorized that it was statistically impossible to search those books so intently and not find one solitary bit of inspiration. Perhaps God was pushing me away. Maybe I was damned. The answer didn’t come to me in a vision. I saw no flashes of light, no “personages,” I heard no voices, I just recalled, from my mind, “The Kingdom of God is within you!” I had been looking in the wrong place!

Yesterday, in my own way I did walk in the woods. It had been a terrible day. One after another things were piling up to bring me down. Late last night I retrieved my Bible and My Book of Mormon, and a twelve pack. I thought that by careful search, and ardent prayer some divine answer would come to me from the cosmos like a cosmic Mr. Clean, and all my questions would be answered. After about an hour there was no collation either with the two books or between myself and heaven, and all I had left was a Bible, a Book of Mormon, and some beer.

Suddenly, I was like the man who found that treasure in that field, selling everything I owned to buy that field, but I didn’t have to sell anything. I already owned the field. For the field, that “Kingdom of God” really was within me. The Garden had been there all along. I could have seen it, had I only looked.

But, the field was covered with tares. When it had been sown at my birth, various things had been thrown into it by passers by. Some with good intentions, others just trying to get my crop to fail, but it was still just tares, restricting the growth in MY field. So I penned the short article “The Truth!”

You can’t “learn” anything. You can only be made to understand what is already there. You are born with all the software you need, you just need to “learn” how to run it! When a baby first opens its eyes and sees the world, it knows that there is a world there. It just has to “learn” how to relate with that world, to “learn” how to get the big babies to bring food. It already knows that it needs to be fed. The trick is to get everyone else in the room on the same sheet of music.

As we progress through life we come upon people who try to teach us how to run our lives, how to cultivate our garden, but those are their answers, not ours. Little by little, our garden is sown with tares, and though we can smell the flowers we can’t see them so we forever reach farther and farther out for spiritual or intellectual fertilizer that we hope will make the garden grow. When all we have to do is tear out the tares, take them to the road, lock the gate, and VOILA! There it is! Your own personal garden. It had been there all along. You would have seen it had you only looked!

And what are the tares? Anything that replaces what you know to be true. Anything that doesn’t allow your wheat to grow. You are born with that seed. The seed that will become wheat. Your own inner truth. When you first open your eyes you may not know who or what that big baby is, hovering over you, but you understand that if you make enough noise food will come.

Then you show up the first day of school with your bright shiny face, knowing that, up until now, should you ask, that big baby at home, the one with the long hair, will cook a hotdog for you. Now, you meet another big baby, big baby “B” who tells you that big baby “A” is not where it’s at at all, and that only she, big baby B, and a whole bunch of unseen big babies have a whole new understanding of the world you thought you had all figured out! Well, she just sewed a whole bunch of tares in your garden and you’re too fascinated with all the greenery to realize that’s it’s all just weeds and cow flop . . . but now you’re becoming “educated!” Two of the most dangerous tares are education and religion. If you buy totally into either one it’s a long way home and if you buy into both at the same time, frankly you can’t get there from here!

Two things are doomed to failure. Religion and psychology. Right away the preachers are condemning me to hell, and the psychologists are diagnosing me. But, it won’t work on me. Do you want to know why? Because I won’t let them into my garden, and I have a lifetime supply of “RoundUp!” THAT’S why!

When Joseph Smith came up with his gig he had simply walked out into the woods and found his garden. So did Martin Luther, Ghandi, and Mohammed. So, how do you tell people about this? Well, you gotta market it. Gotta get an angel. Won’t work without an angel. Smith went one better. His angel was a prospector! There was GOLD on that thar hill. Because that’s what people EXPECTED in 1823! Mohammed’s angel just whipped him all over a cave. That’s what HAPPENED on caravans, and Ghandi missed meals and fooled around with his teenage nieces, because that what you DO when you’re the most interesting guru in India.

And why do I pick on the tare of golden tablets? Because it is a perfect example of a fairly good set of beliefs getting properly bastardized by aggressive marketing and human greed. When Joseph stumbled down from that hill he had it pretty well together. All the churches were full of it, which they WERE! Money was the key driver, which it WAS! AND the people as a whole needed to get back to the actual teachings of Jesus, which they DID!

People will buy the fruit they are most familiar with, be it wholesome or forbidden, and remember, the stolen watermelon is always the sweetest. You will feel comfortable with what roughly fits the inner truth that you came equipped with. Then, with a little smoke and mirrors your truth will absorb these variations from outside purveyors , that while appearing to be roughy the same as yours are really Truth 2.0. It’s no longer YOUR truth, it’s a hybrid of YOUR truth and THEIR truth and has become ”OUR” truth! That would be called ”dogma” folks. GOLDEN TABLETS! And a tare was planted!

He quickly found out that nobody was listening because they were too busy down at some tent revival, waving their hands in the air like they don’t care and shouting “Hallelujah” while some tap dancing preacher passed the plate! What to do? Well, he had to sell it! People don’t want to hear that some fairly intelligent young man came upon some inner truths while sitting under an apple tree. No! An angel gave it to him. He was too stupid to figure anything out for himself. Eventually God Himself had to come down and even bring His kid and first cousin, and the angel brought what? Golden tablets and tares.

So, he wrote a book. Know what the problem is with writing a religious book? First off YOU can’t be the author. GOD, in some magical, mystical way is the author. You’re just the secretary. Now this is not to say the book is not inspired. Who do you think planted the seeds in your garden in the first place? Who do you think planted YOU? But a Bible, The Book of Mormon, the Qu’ran, The Karma Sutra; it don’t matter. When you begin trying to incorporate all these individual gardens into a collective farm right away you gotta have a bookkeeper, be it the Prophet, The Pope, An Imam, or Billy Joe Jim Bob down at The First Self Righteous Church! You can’t get saved without a program!

If I were to say at this point, “If you believe that, have I got a bridge for you, and it’s on sale” the Mormons would ask the price, the Catholics would try to out bid them, and the Muslims would try to find it and fly an plane into it! There isn’t a bridge and there weren’t any golden tablets people. Those are misdirections.

Penn and Teller have a routine. Teller begins to snatch quarters out of thin air, dropping them into a tin cup. It has to be a tin cup so you can hear the loud “clink” as it hits. He does this many times, and while at first you think it’s all a sham, after about a buck fifty you start to believe the quarters are real after all and Teller simply has “something up his sleeve.” After several more “clinks” he reaches forward to a man in the front row, takes his glasses from his face, shakes them over the cup and . . . CLINK CLINK, and rattle, rattle, rattle I might add. THIS IS PATENTLY IMPOSSIBLE! But, you HEARD the clinks. You SAW the quarters fall. Well, of course you did. Because after all the other “quarters” that’s what you EXPECTED to hear and see! Those golden tablets HAD to be there. Why, we heard them when Joe shook the box, didn’t we . . . DIDN’T WE???

At this point most of you have left this article and unsubscribed. Many are called, but few are chosen. I am not an atheist! When I gaze upon my Mercedes I logically conclude that there must have been a factory. I KNOW there was a salesman because he got my money. When I gaze upon a leaf I also understand that there must be a leaf maker. To deny that is as illogical as believing in golden tablets. Joseph’s original conclusion that all the churches were false was spot on. His edited version that HIS truth was THE truth was spotty at best, and with the addition of peripherals (tares) such as golden tablets it became spot off! God made man. Man made religion, and religion made theology. Theology is man’s feeble attempt to explain the unexplainable.


Psychology is just religion 2.0. Psychologists hold onto their beliefs as firmly as Baptists hold onto fried chicken. Psychological theory has progressed all the way from, “Do you love your mother” to “Why do you love your mother?” Religion and psychology try to attain the same thing. To get a person to find that inner truth and somehow clear the garden of tares. You can’t clear tares by planting more tares! But, that’s too simple. That won’t fill the plate, and it certainly won’t get the insurance company to foot the bill for a psychologist’s time. Joseph gave us golden tablets and psychologists give us golden diagnoses. Neither dog will hunt. What works today will fall apart tomorrow. The Catholic will find their self back in the confessional, and the patient will end up right back on the couch at one hundred dollars an hour because they haven’t removed the tares. Until you reconnect with that basic truth, that garden, that basic YOU, all your seed will fall on rocky ground. You must find that garden, clear the tares, and lock the gate. Then, and only then will your garden grow!


The Butcher Shop

The post The Tares appeared first on Tea Party Tribune.

Questions With No Answers

Thu, 03/28/2019 - 2:00pm

Ok, short logic. Jussie calls up the police and says been assaulted by the Black Klux Klan.

Police spend thirty million dollars on the case. (Should’ve used the Texas Rangers.)

Police find evidence that Smollett is a liar.

Police arrest Jussie and charge him with sixteen felonies.

DA drops all the charges because he washed eighteen cop cars.

Smollett says he didn’t lie because his mama loves him like a rock. And tips the DA $10,000 because she’s a good ol’ gal.

So, tell me, if he didn’t lie, and the DA says he’s a good boy. . . when are they gonna re-arrest the two original suspects?

A little something from the Butcher Shop ”Jus’ Sayin’’ department.

The Butcher Shop

The post Questions With No Answers appeared first on Tea Party Tribune.

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